


you’re the only friend i need

by strawberryfire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Breakup, M/M, TW: Drugs, jonathan is a good friend™️, only billy can, sad stevie needs some love, they all try to comfort steve but surprise, tommy & steve dated before billy came along
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 15:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20245015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfire/pseuds/strawberryfire
Summary: we can talk it so goodwe can make it so divinewe can talk it goodhow you wish it would be all the time—or tommy & steve breakup bc tommy likes carol now and steve does not take it well. the party tries to cheer him but nothing helps. nothing, besides billy hargrove.





	you’re the only friend i need

**Author's Note:**

> might make this multi chaptered but idk!!! i write too much lmao  
-  
tumblr: harringrovesfawcettspray  
twitter: 5soharringrove

steve was sitting on the couch of his empty house with an extra large pepperoni cheese pizza and a pint of butterscotch ice cream from scoops. steve always promised his friends that he would never stress or ‘emotional breakdown eat’, it wasn’t his thing.

yet here he is, crying into mediocre ice cream and watching can’t buy me love for the fifth time.

it was week three of this cycle of crying himself to sleep, not waking up until noon, laying in bed until 3, possibly luging himself downstairs and sitting by the pool, eating a shitty dinner at 6, then watching a movie until he fell asleep.

tommy had broken his heart into a thousand pieces. imagine, you’re in love with someone, really really in love and then they say, to your face, “oh, you’re fucking ugly and i’ve found someone better, bye.”

that’s how it ended. and steve was left standing outside the arcade, the party of kids sitting in his car, watching steve fold in on himself as tommy drove away with carol.

this particular day he was numb. he went to work, silent. went through his shift, silent. nancy and jonathan came with the party, tried to talk to steve. he stayed absolutely silent.

robin had taken her break and sat with them, “it’s breaking my heart, he’s never looked so completely dead inside.”

“kill tommy.” dustin suggested.

“no, not yet.” robin had said and nancy looked at steve because that was something he would laugh at.

nope. he was staring off into space, his eyes bloodshot and cheeks still stained with tears.

“we could have billy beat tommy up.” max suggests, “we can go to the pool and talk to him.”

“eh, i was planning to go to steve’s house tonight, so i’ll invite him to come with me.” robin said, poking steve’s cheek.

he doesn’t react one bit.

“steve can you at least look at me so i know you haven’t overdosed or something?”

steve looks at her with sad eyes, the normally sparkly hazel brown color almost drained, and she sighs “oh steve…what are we gonna do with you?”

“kill me.” he whispers softly.

“no, we’re not gonna kill you.” she ruffles his hair, “we’re gonna come over tonight and cheer you up. have a lil pool party.”

“i want weed.” steve whispers.

“okay, i’ll get some. how much?”

“all of it.” his voice stays at a whisper, so soft only robin can hear him, like he’s too tired to talk any louder.

“how specific. don’t worry, i’ll get enough for hmmm three joints?”

steve nods a little.

nancy’s eyes widen, “we can’t have the kids over if you’re smoking.”

“sure we can, i have spray. don’t worry goodie two shoes, your reputation won’t be ruined.”

she crosses her arms and waits with the kids as robin closes up.

steve is just this lifeless blob that’s following robin around and leaning on her as they walk to the car.

jonathan sat beside steve in the back, dustin on the other side, the passenger side empty for billy, and then the rest of the party with nancy.

steve puts his head on jonathan’s shoulder, like he can’t even hold himself up.

this weight of heartbreak on steve’s chest was soul crushing. he had never felt love before, he thought it was only in movies. but the way tommy held him, the way tommy always called whenever he felt that steve was having a bad night. he just _knew_ when steve was depressed, had a fight with his dad, or was upset about school. tommy called it his sixth sense, and steve would make fun of him, always saying “do you see deaaadd people?”

steve was head over heels in love with this boy, so much that it scared him shitless. tommy made steve feel wanted, smart and capable of amazing things.

now he felt more worthless than ever.

robin parks at billy’s house and he comes out, weed in hand, cig in his mouth. getting in he looks back at steve, who’s staring blankly at the promise bracelet tommy gave him.

“jesus christ. this is really bad.” billy says, turning forward.

“yeah, it is. i don’t really know what to do.” robin admits as they drive back to the harrington household, where nancy and the kids are cleaning up.

dustin points to the ziplock bag in billy’s hand, “what’s that?”

“the devil’s lettuce.”

“what?”

“it’s weed.”

“ohh. sweet.”

they park at steve’s house. jonathan and billy help steve out of the car, and onto his couch.

_he looks so cute in his little uniform_, billy thinks.

“want me to get you a change of clothes?” billy offers.

“sure.” steve whispers.

billy goes up to his room, which is a fucking disaster.

“yo jonathan!”

“comin’!”

he comes up the stairs and stands in steve’s doorway with billy, “oh my god you can’t even see the floor.”

“yeah. get will and mike, they can help us clean up.”

billy gives steve a change of clean clothes and he stays curled up on the couch while max and el braid his hair.

cleaning steve’s room alone took three hours and way too much complaining from mike & will.

billy got to a box that was hidden underneath some blankets on his bed.

it read “_to steve, from tommy_” on the top.

“what’s in it?” will asks.

“not sure.” billy opens it and it’s letters. letters, dried up roses, notes tommy used to pass steve in class, polaroids of them.

there’s one that makes all the four boys hearts break a little.

it’s steve and tommy sitting on the edge of steve’s pool, looking at each other so in love. on the back it says, ‘_this was the night you gave me the promise bracelet. i never take it off, ever. you even sprayed it with your cologne, you romantic shit. i hope i never loose you._’ in steve’s handwriting and ‘_you’ll never loose me, idiot. i love you, and that’s a promise.’ _in tommy’s. 

“i can’t imagine how steve feels…i really can’t.” mike says after a few minutes of quiet.

“i just…how do you go from this,” jonathan gestures to the pictures and letters, “to all of a sudden walking away like it never happened?”

“love is a fickle, fickle thing…” billy says, putting the box away and walking downstairs.

steve’s half asleep with his head on robin’s lap, tear stains on the end of his hoodie sleeves.

billy leans down in front of steve, “hey, i brought the weed, wanna go outside?”

“sure.” he whispers, getting up and dragging himself out to the back porch.

jonathan, robin and billy follow. steve sits by the pool and stares at the glistening water as the sun sets, the pretty colors dancing on the surface.

he hadn’t even told robin or anyone for that matter about the nights he spent sitting at the bottom of the pool, coming up for air, then sitting back. he would do it for hours. he would try and stay under the water for as long as possible, trying to drown out everything in his head.

steve takes off his shirt and forgets that the others are even there. he gets in, his plaid pj shorts still on.

“uh steve what are you doing?”

he swims to the bottom and keeps himself there.

“steve!” he hears billy’s muffled voice.

steve starts to run out of breath so he comes up to the surface and pushes his hair back.

“steve what the hell are you doing?” robin asks.

“makes my head shut up.” he responds, “i sit down there and i can’t think.”

he takes a deep breath and pushes himself back down.

after he comes up, billy hands him a joint, “just for you.”

steve takes it and smokes it, putting his head down on his arm.

he needed something more. he needed to fucking _feel something._

“jonathan. in my room, bottom draw, is a a vhs that has a new hope on the front. bring it down, please.” steve’s voice is weak and forced, like he doesn’t want to say anything more than one word.

“uhh, alright?” jonathan goes up to his room and gets the vhs.

steve gets out of the pool and opens it. there’s lsd, a small bag of coke, an old gift card, and a pack of the really fancy cigarettes.

billy sits in front of steve, “steve, no, cmon, let’s go for a drive or something.”

“no. i need to feel something.”

he unwraps the lsd from the tin foil, and gets one with a sad face on it, then puts it on his tongue. he lays down and closes his eyes.

jonathan looks at his watch, “i totally would stay but my mom wants will and i home.”

“that sucks.” billy laughs a little, taking a hit from his joint.

“i know right.” he gets will after arguing with him for at least five minutes and leaves.

nancy comes out, “i’ve gotta take mike and the other kids home, but i’ll come check on him in the morning.” she gently kisses steve’s forehead and he doesn’t react.

“how high is he?”

“he just took some lsd, so probably on cloud nine.” robin says, sipping her beer.

“didn’t know he did that kinda stuff.”

“me freaking neither.”

nancy sighs and leaves with the party.

robin, billy and steve lay in silence.

it gets to be 10:30 and billy goes inside to get a coke when there’s a knock at the door.

by then steve had come down from his high and was in the kitchen splashing water on his face.

“i got it, it could be my parents.” he mumbles then he opens the door and tommy is standing there.

robin and billy immediately clench their fists, walking behind steve.

“hey…” tommy says, his voice quiet.

“hey.” steve whispers back.

“i…i know sorry won’t cut it, steve i just…my dad y’know…? he was getting suspicious…i…he was threatening to hurt you…”

“i don’t believe that for one second.” steve snaps. “you fucking told me you were over me and that i wasn’t good enough for you anymore!” his voice cracks and tears are threatening to spill over.

“o-of course you’re good enough for me, stevie, of course you are i…i just…i-i didn’t want to let you go, not at all. it hurt me so fucking much.”

“well, tommy, you’ve already done the damage. you met me when i was the most broken and you fucking fixed me. you took me and you made me yours and you made me fucking _happy_. and i can’t believe, i don’t _want_ to believe, that it was you who pushed me back to square one.” steve shuts the door in tommy’s face then goes up to his room and slams his door.

after a few moments of not knowing quite sure what to do, billy says softly to robin, “should we stay?”

“i can’t i have work…” robin says.

“okay, i’ll stay on the couch…i’ll call you if anything bad happens.”

she nods then hugs billy and drives home.

billy goes upstairs and gently knocks on steve’s door, “steve? you okay?” he whispers.

“no, you idiot.” he hears steve mumble.

“can i come in?”

“fine.”

billy walks in and sits at the edge of his bed.

steve is curled into a ball and clinging onto one of tommy’s basketball hoodies, “thanks for yknow…cleaning.”

“anytime.” billy smiles, “y’know we should burn that thing.”

“huh?”

“burn that hoodie. burn the letters, the pictures. he doesn’t deserve your attention and tears, steve. _he_ fucked up, not you. if he can’t appreciate the undying love you give him, why cry over it? it’s his fuckin loss.”

and for the first time in a while, steve smiles.

“you don’t need him, steve. you are legit the nicest person i have ever fucking met and if anyone i know deserves happiness, it’s you. i fuckin’ beat your face in and you forgave me almost instantly. you’re so giving and the way the kids just love you so much, it’s adorable. you don’t need a tommy or a nancy to be happy. you just need you.”

steve sits up and looks into billy’s eyes, “you have no idea how much that means to me, billy.”

billy smiles, “i wish someone had told you something like that before.”

steve gets up and takes out a queen record, “you like queen?”

“of course, who doesn’t?”

steve giggles, for the first time in a long time.

he puts on_ i want to break free. _he blasts it, even though it’s almost midnight and he’ll probably wake up the neighbors.

steve has a giant smile on his face, grinning from ear to ear. he grabs billy’s hands and pulls him off of the bed.

with the midnight moonlight pouring through steve’s open window, the faint smell of weed on their clothes, they dance and sing their hearts out. and for the first time in a very long time, steve feels something. he feels happiness. peacefulness. the feeling that his life was one big giant coming of age movie.

it’s all so quick it makes steve feel sick but the way billy is laughing, his sparkly blues watching help steady steve’s feet and his heart to the ground.

and the more steve thought about it, watching billy dancing along to radio ga ga, tommy wasn’t shit. yeah steve loved him but he starts to wonder if his heart just tricked him.

_my only friend through teenage nights._

because he’s thinking of billy’s words and the way it made a lump get in his throat.

it’s the sting of tommy’s _forgive me _voice, the shirts in the wash drenched with tears. but it’s also the way that this is how love works. and why steve realizes that there isn’t anything, on the surface, in billy that screams _hold me, you should have been loving **me**_. and dancing with billy in this moonlight, it isn’t the agonizing pain of heartbreak or the tricky ways of the future and present.

steve realizes billy is the answer. the reason why he came, why he stays, why each morning is a reason, and in all honesty why _**friend**_ is weakest word between them.

the record cuts off and steve pulls billy so he’s inches in front of him.

“you’re right,” steve says softly, “tommy isn’t shit. but love isn’t. love is kinda great and i haven’t given up on it because i think, billy hargrove, the love that i thought i had for tommy was really for you. the love that is still aching in my chest, it’s not for tommy. it’s for _you_.”

billy’s freckle kissed cheeks turn pink and his eyes meet steve’s, “really?” is all he can say.

steve smiles, “really. tonight you’ve made me feel everything i haven’t felt in weeks and it was overwhelming but in the best way. i think that maybe a bit of california sunshine was all i needed.”

steve leans in and gently presses his lips to billy’s. billy kisses back and he feels the sparks in his heart. the way it felt so _normal_ and it felt so right. steve didn’t stop, putting his hand in billy’s hair, his kiss still so soft and sweet.

and this was the beauty of it, billy thought. that some simple words spoken to a boy with a broken heart could give him a revelation that sometimes the love you have isn’t for the person you think.

steve pulled away and looked into the california suns eyes and thought, yeah, he couldn’t always be happy. but he could be brave and that is the beginning of everything.

“constantly, continually, consistently, it has been you, billy hargrove.”

billy laughs softly, “you poetic little shit.”

laying in steve’s bed, watching their chests rise and fall they both realized that walking through fire to find each other was worth more than anything the world had to offer.


End file.
